Why You Need A Prenup

Why You Need A Prenup

I am a big proponent of prenuptial agreements, but not for the reasons one might naturally assume. It came to my attention a few years ago that men and women were creating legal contracts for each other prior to marriage that went beyond finances. What surprised and gratified me, were the specific conditions written into the legally binding contract. There were things being included that one might traditionally scoff at, and say should be worked out after the marriage. However, I thought it was an intelligent leap forward for women and feminism. A minimum expected amount of quality time spent together is known to have been added in modern prenups, household work appropriation has been carefully thought out and divided in general terms, the maximum and minimum number of children each expects, and a hassle free exit if say, the partner decides to change religion etc. Women especially are quite often at a disadvantage after the demise of their relationship due to taking on the role of ‘homemaker’ and all that it does, and does not entail. It can be an engrossing job with no return if a woman doesn’t manage her own interests at the outset of the union. Entering into a marriage should be taken on with as much seriousness and legal concern as a business merger. An interesting thing I have noticed, that applies typically to women only in a marriage is the term ‘housewife’, or put in more modern terms ‘homemaker’. Can one put “homemaker” on a resume?. Additionally, it seems as if quite often the label cannot be undone, and is ascribed as soon as the matrimonial vows are complete. Observe popular television programs titled “The Real Housewives of…etc” Almost none of those women are housewives, but successful women with thriving businesses. It galled me when I read an article in a Turkish newspaper that, upon describing the booming construction phenomenon in Istanbul, claimed that due to the high demand for construction equipment, even ‘housewives’  were acquiring cranes and setting up rental contracts. That means they are not housewives, but astute business women capitalizing on a lucrative opportunity. If it were a man, he would simply be a businessman, an entrepreneur, but when it’s a woman, her status when married, is typically preceded by her role as a wife, and somehow tied in to the home. A highly educated female and feminist who recently reentered the workforce after a hiatus during which she raised children, casually mentioned that she was paying the salary of the family’s housekeeper from her own salary…now that she was working. In my opinion, I thought it was interesting that she felt subconscious guilt about not being at home more; as if that was intrinsically her job bestowed upon her by her marriage. It appeared to me as if she somehow felt she owed it to her husband to pay for the housekeeper, thinking perhaps it was the least she could do, as she was now shirking ‘her’ duties.

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Coffee. Beer. Climbing Tall Things.

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